Ways to Avoid Divorce

Divorce seems to be all around us these days. Currently, the divorce rate is at an estimated 50%. I am sure most of us have parents that have gone through divorce, or been impacted by it from relatives or friends that have gone through divorce. The divorcing process is not an easy one, and many parties become affected by this life altering experience. So here are few suggestions to help you know what you are getting into, before you are in too deep:

1. Is it love or lust?
Many people jump into relationships and get caught up with the romance, butterflies, and instant attractions. To know if those feelings will really last all come with time. Relationships take time and experience to truly understand the other person and learn if their values, morals, and beliefs correlate with yours. Before you make the big jump into marriage, you need to ask yourself if you are willing to stay with this person when the luster dies out.

2. Independence vs. Dependence?
Are you looking to your partner to fulfill with you with happiness, security, and comfort? If you are, then you need to take a much needed vacation for yourself. Before a marriage can ever work, you need to look to yourself for happiness and fulfillment. To appreciate each other, you need to be able to take care of yourself and your needs first.

3. Everybody else is doing it
Are all your friends getting married? Do you feel like you are at the age that you should be married by now? Well, it is not the 1950's anymore. All the rules that pertained to marriage 60 years ago are out the window. It is up to the individual now to decide when the right time to be married is. For instance, take into consideration life expectancy. We are living much longer, healthier lives than our ancestors did who were married at young ages. Time is on our side these days, so really make an active effort to make sure you are taking the leap into marriage for yourself.

Marriage is hard, and it is comparable to a second job. You have to be devoted and willing to work. However, if divorce is in your future, do not do it alone. Having a third party present can make the transition easier and help keep biases out of the equation.